Posted by Hogryder on June 01, 2000 at 18:13:32:
Spring is finally here so I thought it about time for this post.
Proper bike cleaning requires two people, the rider and the seat cushion. (Seat cushion = female passenger). For those of you with male seat cushions the procedure is exactly the same.
After a long day of riding the rider and seat cushion climb off the bike and get ready to clean. Seat cushion removes bed roll and rolls up leather jackets into pillows for rider, rider lays back on jackets in the shade. Seat cushion goes to bar to borrow a bucket of hot soapy water and get beer for rider. Stopping without a bar in sight is not allowed.
Seat cushion removes her T-shirt (T-Shirt specifications are as follows: Black, 100% cotton, at least 1 size too small) and uses it to wash bike. This usually requires at least one more trip to bar for clean water and more beer for rider. Note: Some bars in backward countries require seat covers to wear shirts in bar. The wet shirt/cleaning rag is sufficient for this purpose.
After the bike has been washed, the seat cover takes the bucket back to the bar and brings more beer for rider. After finishing this beer, the rider gets up and goes to the bar to use the men's room. Rider then plays pool.
While the rider is playing pool, the seat cushion hangs the dirty T-shirt on a tree branch to dry and removes a clean T-shirt from the bed roll. She uses the clean shirt to polish the bike, making at least one trip to the bar to ask the rider if he would like her to get him another beer, then puts the shirt on.
At this point, the bar patrons will return to the bar and at least one will say, "She put her shirt back on." The rider at this point picks up his winnings, gets a 6-pack from the bartender, hands one to seat cushion, and says, "Whats for dinner?"
Enjoy your riding, and your cleaning, this spring.